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well, the shame you feel about yourself is well placed.

gender, dear...is not a social construct. it is an identity.

you do bring a different history to the table, that of female identity, than i do, but that doesn't make you more of a woman. i bring a different history than you do....i know what it's like to have to live in the oppressors world. i've had to sit there and take the patriarchal bullstuff men throw around from an insider's perspective....believe me....it's not easy...it can be perfectly horrible....and it didn't make me any less a woman to have to "take it." if anything it made me more aware of how different i was than them. it's really just suffering the same crap from a different position.

can you imagine growing up as a little girl....knowing that dang good and well...and not being able to convince anyone that you're not a boy? how do you think that informs my sense of my own femininity? it's different than yours...but no less feminine....no less intense...no less real.

i never experienced life as a male.....i socialized as a male as best i could, but don't kid yourself, young lady....girls don't socialize well as boys. we're different, we have different inner makeups....different identities. trying to pass yourself off as a "normal" boy is danged near impossible for a girl.....that's not a boy perspective, honey, that's a girl perspective.

gender identity is innate and unchangeable. it's not what we do, it's who we are. i may have experienced life in a male construct, but i have never experienced life as a male. i, like you, can not ever do that, it's impossible....i'm not a male, i'm a female. the only perspective i know when it comes to gender is female...it's all i've got, it's all i can be.

so....although we bring different perspectives to the world, we are not different in our female hearts.

much love and hope. pj

I can understand some of your reasoning. But for those of us who were socialized as male/female (Which ever birth gender) in most cases it was a very depressing experiance, and most of it was forced or faked to fit in. And it doesn't really take that long to understand after having been viewed as the gender that you were not born into. It's kind of like having a very realistic dream as the opposite sex and then waking up one day to discover that you're miles behind everyone else. Like an illiterate child, we do eventually get the hang of it. Of all those things that we missed out on. Males and females can be masculine and feminine, redgaurdless of gender. As can Trans people. In the end they're just doing what makes them comfortable and happy, like anyone else in the world.

It's a bit of a 'nature vs nurture' topic, but in this one it's that will win. It taken millions of years for most forms of animals to domesticated, and we humans don't live anywere near that long.

PS. Men can get sexually harassed too.

What you need to learn is that it's not a choice. Here's the science:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html

It's got nothing to do with how we're born and raised and everything to do with our deepest, innermost selves. We may not completely understand what it was like to be born and raised the way we would have preferred to be, but we do understand what it's like to be raised a trans person, forced to conform to a role utterly foreign to us, being called the wrong pronouns, being expected to wear horrible clothes and act contrary to our natures while our bodies mutate and betray us and we're powerless to prevent it. We understand that all too bloody well.

The only choice we make is whether to transition or to suffer until the ends of our lives.

Crossdressers choose to present themselves as the opposite sex, not transsexual people, unless they're in the closet.

"...can't fully understand what it was like to grow up and be socialized as a member of the opposite sex..."

Transpeople ARE socialized as members of the opposite sex, but we never are really the opposite sex because brain sex is concrete. I was raised as a boy, but I was always a girl inside. I've faced tons of discrimination and harassment, originally for being too feminine, and now for not being feminine enough. So what if I wasn't raised female? I've always been subject to the same struggles of other women plus a bunch of my own.

im transgendered ive always hated my body and i grew up with an older sister we used to dress up in her play clothes and all sorts and if always been feminine and hate that i was not a girl it really isnt a choice no one would but themselves through the emotional heartbreak i have suffered. i dont think gender is something that you learn its ingrained in your dna however i do think societies view of there are boys or girls is correct there is a wide spectrum of gender. for more info id watch national geographic program on it , i watched it and it talks about what your saying they even did test on kids to try rase them the opposite gender and such .

thanks for being honest message me if you want to chat

yep you sound trans phobic to me . also no one choses their gender identity . a trans woman [ mtf ] has always had a female brain but was born with a male body . a trans man [ ftm ] has a male brain but was born with a female body .

hang out with some trans people and you'll get over this

I did not choose to be this way I was born this way I knew this when I was 3 years old