I think I am telekinetic?

I was at my cousins house and suddenly I walked by and everyone was screaming so I stopped and the dog was crying. The dog was an emo dog and we all knew it so then my aunt was like "Johnny (my cousin) go lube up the dog again" and he was like fine then he banged the dog causing the dog to lose its virginity. My question is am I now telekinetic?

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