My girlfriend and I have been together about four months. I have realized that, even though I do love her, I am not in love with her, and we are not compatible. She is young and she believes she is in love with me, and seems to believe that we have a long future together. I think this is silly because we are both so young, and I don't want to be making those kinds of decisions yet. And like I said, I know that I don't want to continue our relationship. I want to tell her its over now, before she becomes even more serious, but I also want to keep her in my life as a friend. She has told me that I could "seriously hurt" her if I told her that I don't want to be with her. I don't. But I don't want to hurt her. How can I make her understand that we can both still be happy and have a relationship even if we are not a couple?
Update:And by the way, we lost our virginity to each other too. Mine is not important to me. But hers is, and I regret taking it. This is before I knew that we were not meant to be.
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Aww im so sorry, but if u let your relationship go on even longer, then the more its gonna hurt her, so hate to say it, but the faster u tell her the better :(
Really, you cannot be " just friends"... not for a long time anyway. Your intentions are honorable, but once there is a romantic relationship, it's so difficult to take it down a notch.
You are doing the right thing. It's time to move on. And although she will be hurt, she will do the same eventually. When I was 19, I was engaged and so much in love.... and he loved me . Fast forward five years, and I married someone else. It was not that I never loved the first guy, but it wasn't meant to be. You are wise to see that is true for you as well , and that you are too young for this sort of commitment. Be honest with her, and she will always think well of you for that honesty.... well, not initially, but in time. Good luck.
OK, you're trapped, after four months you know you only want to be friends with her(you know you're no compatible, you also know she's young and she believes she's in love. Wow look at what you know.) You should have a talk with her as soon as possible. Love pain hurts soooooo bad,don't let her keep thinking you love her. She'll be hurt,but she should be glad to know the truth. If I were her after you told me, I for sure wouldn't want to be friends with you.I would try to get as far away from you as possible, no contact needed. Do the right thing tell her now.
Hi..
You have to talk to your girlfriend, and be very gentle, yet honest with her..
Tell her, that the best thing that has come from this relationship, is two very special people..loving each other as friends..
Tell her you will always be there for her as a friend, and you hope she'll be there for you as a friend as well..And you both can be happy..
And remind her..that its better to love each other as friends, than not at all..
Who knows, eventually things might change, but for now lets love and respect each other as good friends
Then both of you must get on with your lives..
Take Care, and my best to both of you!
Read your last sentence again and find you are so contradict to yourself. "How can you both happy and have a relationship when you arealdy know that you and she is not a couple?". If you think you guys are not a good couple, then don't have a relationship because it wastes your time and wastes your life. No woman wants to have a relationship with a guy who think they are not a couple! So either accept her or leave her, not in-between.
Break ups are never easy, but if you can end it mutually its great. If I were you I'd make her understand how you feel by telling her the same thing you've put in your statement. Its the easiest way. At whatever age people never know if they're really in love when they're just starting a relationship. Its always better to have another friend than an ex.
I was in a similar situation like yours. Me and my boyfriend dated for about 3 months and i suddenly realized that we're not as compatible as we first thought. I think i loved the idea of him more than actually "loving" him... I didn't want to hurt him, and we agreed to be friends. But honestly, it's awkward to be friends now because we're not together anymore, i don't know why.
I must say you are a very sensible and caring young man. What you said is right 100% be proud because, your making the right decisions.
You could explain that you want to be friends and tell her what you told us that you are too young and don't want to make life changing decisions. She would understand and see exactly how smart and mature you are.
Well dude..try n make her understand that love or any other relation for the matter of fact can prevail n have its holy feeling only when its done or lived with the real feeling frm the heart....
When u r dead sure that u n her r not compatible try n make her understand...that by force u can "be" with her bu cannot "Love" her
You have to tell her how you feel. You can't let her go on thinking this way. It will suck royally, but it's part of being a good man. So many guys dumped me in lousy ways when I was young. One guy did it with class and I'll always think fondly of him. Don't mince words, don't sugarcoat anything, just tell her it's over but you still appreciate her and want to stay friends.
Log-on & have her read your question & all the answers.
The truth will set you both free. It'll hurt & feel weird for awhile, but both of you have your whole life ahead of you. You should both be able to find what you need in your life as you grow & mature.