I'm really really scared. So I'm 13 and very very boy crazy- the problem is i go to this all girls school so ive never really gotten past anything but elementry school contact with them as i movedin 6th grade. Ive always considered myself straight- ive had many crushes and for a whilei thought i was completely in love with my brother's best friend, John. But i dont really see himanymre. Then last night my best friend since Pre-K slept over and in the night i had an urge to kiss her, which i found very disgusting. I haven't had my first kiss yet so i dont know if it was that or something else but im really really scared. I also had a disgusting half asleep daydream about it and it creeped the hell out of me. (Ive also been watching a lot of pretty little liars which has a lesbian girl in it so i dontknow if that had an effect). Now im just scared im a lesbian and I'll never ever get married or have kids with John. Please help!!!
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Verified answer
I doubt you are a lesbian.
I am going to have tell you something. First of all there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian. Second if you were a lesbian yeah you will not marry John or have kids with John but you could marry Jane and use John as a sperm Donor or adopt.
If you've had all these crushes on boys it's unlikely you're really attracted to girls. If you had an urge to kiss your friend it might have been because you wanted to know what it felt like to kiss someone. Don't worry! I think you are a very normal sounding girl.
Yeah, well, you are not going to get married to John at 13 are you? So, give it a few years, and don't worry about it. Maybe you will turn out a little bit of both, maybe not. But it is not something to stress about now! Take your time!
Regardless of what your peers are doing, there's no need to rush yourself and no reason to worry.
The truth is most boys and nearly all girls feel ambivalent and awkward about their sexuality at your age. But they're trying so hard to be "grown up" that they push themselves into situations that leave them hurt and confused.
Try this: focus on your studies, your hobbies, your friendships. Get to know people of both sexes as friends. Build real friendships. Get to know what it means to trust, to care, to share yourself with another person emotionally.
The sexuality stuff will then take care of itself. Don't even worry about it right now.
Hi,
Well, from the way you wrote it, maybe you should explore your urge of lesbian-ness. I'm not saying go hump your Best Friend, I'm saying talk to your friends about it... and see if they feel somewhat like you aswell. But, you do sound straight. But if you realise you do like girls AND boys, that means you are bie-sexual.
lol have kids with john.. your so funny... i dont think your a lesbian or in danger of becoming one.. the show must have influenced your dream and thoughts.. also when girls go to all girl schools most of them tend to go through a gay-bi phase.. but not all girls go through that mostly its the girls who want to fit in or give in to peer pressure too easily or just are influenced way way way too easily like by peers or by shows lol so just dont worry about it too much.. go to the mall and talk to cute boys.. thatll fix ya right up..
Eh. Your sexuality is pretty fluid at the age of 13. Take your time, be honest with yourself, and don't freak out about labels. Once you've gone through puberty and are out of high school, things will get clearer.
You may or may not be...
most likely you are... how to put this appropriately..... having feelings or urges but since guys are not around they are directed towards other girls.
it is possible you are in the middle (bi).
however considering your age area, this is probably a phase and will go away.
Cogito ergo sum doesn't apply here - at 13 I don't think you really know. Wait until the hormones kick in properly, then figure out what you like.
there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian lol. you shouldnt be scared. When you get older and reallize what males are all about youll be happy you like women.