I just honestly want to know if my mom is wrong, or if I am, and what I should do next.
I'm 17 and i drive my moms van while she drives her car. My sister had a softball game today and we took the van. The first half of the game my mom left to go pick up her boyfriend and the other half I sat in the car and watched the game. The last inning I went across the street to the car wash to vacuum the floor because my mom got cigarette ashes etc on the floors. She called me really mad asking where I was and to get back right away. I did and we went home. Soon after we got home I asked my mom if I could have the van keys to go to a friends house. She said no you can't drive for a week because you disrespected me. I asked her how that was disrespectful a couple times but she wouldn't answer. I said please let me go just for an hour so i can cool off and she said no (whenever we're mad at each other she never lets me go anywhere/stop talking to me, she'll come in my room and i ask her to leave until im not as upset and she just wont, etc). She says going across the street without telling her was disrespectful, i say she's over reacting. what do you think and what should i next? talking to her isnt an option because when i explain myself calmly and tell her how i feel about things she tells me she doesnt want to hear it im grounded for longer, my kids dont care about me, all this sh*t. She doesnt like being criticized/wrong. thanks for reading.
Answers & Comments
You mom obviously wants to control you and what you do and uses the phrase that " you disrespected me" to let you know you are not to make random decisions on your own.I think what you did was fine but she didn't like that you made a decision on your own.Just let it go for now since you said she won't listen so there is no use in talking BUT for the future ask her permission for anything and everything.Do it even if you think it is stupid.Wait until she says something about you always bugging her and then you can say " Well, I don't want to to think I am disrespectful ".Maybe, just maybe she will get it then ! If you have idea on your own you need to ask her if it is ok.....like going across the street in the van to clean it up.For some reason she must have control over certain things in her life .....she needs that so give it to her.It will get better, it is her problem not yours but your job to cope with it.She does not feel like you care about her feelings and you know how bad that can feel so help her feel better.Everyone will be happier then.
It whole incident isn't disrespectful. If it is her car, and you went to vacuum it then that was a really nice sweet thing to do, and she ought to appreciate it. You should have called her or told her you were leaving the game, yet it isn't as if you went across town. Perhaps you should ask her if she wants you to help clean the vehicles, and when she says yes, ask why she got mad for you doing so a the game.
Impossible for a reasonal, objective person to answer this because we're only getting 1 side. Any answers you get here on Yahoo Answers will be biased because, again, we're only getting your side. Don't trust what people say on Yahoo Answers when you ask personal questions like this.