Now I'm not coming here to ask you guys about which girl I should choose, just want to hear from other people about what they think of this situation.
I'm in love with an unavailable girl, I have been for about a year. Just recently her boyfriend moved, and although she's dubious about whether or not a long distance relationship will work she loves him and will try. She knows I love her and has told me she likes me but it can't be anything more because she has a boyfriend and I respect that.
Now I'm getting to know this other girl really well, we hang out all the time and have fun together and I've been thinking about asking her out but I don't love her even though she's pretty much even more awesome than the girl I'm in love with (somehow that works).
(I'll add in my choices in one of those insert text thingies)
Update:So I have 3 choices, neither of which I like. Stay single and be a good friend to the girl I love for however long it takes, ask the other girl out and hopefully she makes me forget about the first, or be a douche and go out with the second girl until the first one is available and break the second girl's heart when I leave her.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Don't use her as a rebound for a person you never had, that's dumb. If you really like the second girl, date her, but she needs to be on a level playing field. Don't make her stack up to some fantasy you have for another person.
go out and see the second girl. you may find that after the first girl that she is more then you thought. you are in love with what you think you and the first girl could have but behind closed doors she may be different. this other grl could be everything and more then you ever hoped for. tell the second one that your trying to get over someone and you want to move slowly. try to stay away from the first to give the second one a chance. how would you like to be in her mans shoes and know someone else is in picture. even if he doesnt. the first girl isnt into you that way and your wasting your time hoping she will be.....
It's doubtful that the unavailable girl will ever be available to you. If she liked you in that way, it would have already happened.
On the other girl...here's my opinion. Date a while and see if your feelings change. If they don't, don't lead her on...instead keep yourself available for when love DOES comes along. Remember, these ARE NOT the only 2 girls in the world.
good luck
Rule out option 3 - don't be a douche.
What you should do is pick the girl you want. Ask yourself - who could you see yourself spending lonely evenings with? Who would you rather sit in a park and watch the sunset with? Which girl means more to you? Which girls cares more about you?
Figure out which girl you want, and go for her. But then, don't try to go for the other girl anymore.
Uh, don't do #3.
No. 2 is an okay option, as is No. 1 if you think there's a VERY significant chance you'll get to date her someday.
The thing a lot of people don't realize is all this agony that you're putting yourself through right now is NOT worth it. Trust me, I've been there.
Dont break the other girls heart jus to go out with the one you love !!!!!!! Thats happend to me and i REALLY loved him and i'll always care about him... But what you should do is try to get to know the girl you say is better than the one you love , and see if you start to get feelings for her if not then wait for the girl you love and see what happens.
you can't put your life on hold for the unavailable girl. start dating the other girl and see where it goes. if you realize that she is not the right one for you, don't continue to date her until "something better comes along." have enough respect for her feelings to break up with her if you decide she is not right for you, whether or not the unavailable girl enters the picture.
I think that if the first girl doesn't want you right now than she might not later i think you should try and move on and try it out with this new girl.
what ever happened to casual dating?! you can Date the other girl and have a fun time with her. you don't need to be her boyfriend to go on dates.
date the one who can concentrate on You..